Democracy or Dictatorship??

I don't wanna get so paranoid but it ain't much of a paranoid feeling but it's for real. I can say it is more towards confusion. Was I too personal in performing my job? I guess so. I considered too much on how others' feelings rather than mine. But I'm not the type of guy who would make myself happy while the others suffer. Seeing people suffering is so not my thing. It's eye-soring and heart-tearing. I realised this so much as a joker. I joke a lot and my friends refer me as 'happening' type of guy. That tells me that they can hardly see me frowning. It's everytime they approach me, they would joke first instead of saying "hey,wassup?". They will be like "There goes Mr.Ducky".Somethin' like that. I love that happy spirit going on around me. But stress has always been my good friend and always there for me. I believe keeping people around me happy would keep my good mood. I always feel very sorry for myself. Why? At times when I'm sincerely trying to lighten their burden, it goes the other way round for others. Especially the view of others. And so I seek advice from my buddies. I kinda grouped the types of people I know, for those who considerate and those who are self-centered "to-view-the-world-with-your-own-eyes-and-don't-care-what-others-say". Since I'm more to the type of who consider others' feelings, I went to the 'second' group. Just the usuals, "do what you want","follow your heart","as long you're happy" and "don't care what the others think". I put myself on an experiment involving other 'volunteers' such as my friends.

I started with a random joke. I compared my friend with the other person I knew. I can't say who but this is a real story. I was like saying "You're like the opposite of her." with the perspective I keep in mind "Don't care what others think, follow your heart and as long as you're happy". Oh yeah, I felt great sayin that. I remember that look on her face when I said that. The other case will be another friend of mine. She's a happy-go-lucky kinda girl. and her cute height is always a thing I used to tease her. I was like "Hey..where's your mommy?". I kept on with this joking stuff until this one day. It was the day when we let out our problems. We all let out our probs and it turned to be that each one of them got worser problems than mine. One of them was crying and was saying "do u think i liked being called short? i know i'm small and always smiling..". It was from there, I got much more softer at heart and reconsidering what have i done to my friends. Force and do not care what they feel?? Or put the burden on me and understand what they feel?? Maybe my next post will be 'should I tell the truth which no one will believe?or tell lies and let them hate me more?'